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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Why the USA sucks 


That's, eventually, how I lost my job at The Big M. Even The Big A outsources many call center (and other) jobs to India.

And now the friggin' government has the audacity to outsorce torture?!?

Hell, I know a few really patriotic Americans (like my friend from Russia) who would LOVE to have a job that allows them to do nasty things to various and sundry Muslims... and they'd spend their hard earned "In God We Trust" cash right here in the US, where it can do us some good, for a change!

Now I'm not saying I would like to have that job, you understand. Being married, my wife would frown upon me having sex in front of the prisoners and shit like like that. I'm sure we could convince her to be sorta okay with it, though, since it would, maybe, save the lives of a few American soldiers doing their part in Iraq.

I also get sick at the sight of blood and excrement. So I don't think I'd be able to tolerate the working conditions.

Maybe if I could just be the guy snapping the pictures?



Saturday, January 21, 2006


Yes, I have a confession to make. We all have secrets, don’t we?

Some folks actually mail their secrets to postsecrets, a web site dedicated to a new art form: secrets told in text and artwork on a 4X6 inch postcard. Doing this is, I’m sure, cathartic for some and frightening for others. I’ve even sent in one or two of my own secrets – but I’ll never tell whether they’ve been published on the site. I’m not always that forthcoming.

My daughter, who is being raised Catholic (despite my being nearly agnostic, leaning toward atheist) will soon be attending her first Reconciliation AKA: Confession.

Personally, I have no need for a priest to act as my “hyper-link to God.” I’ll use my blog to sing out my confessions to all who will hear them. Both of you.

(Or I’ll just keep them stoppered up inside, where they probably belong.)

Here goes: Over a year ago, my mom gave me a couple of pairs of my dad’s underwear while he was still alive but remained in a Hospice facility. She’d written his name on the waistband so the nursing staff would not mix his up with the underwear of others. By this time, however, he no longer needed his briefs. He was in adult-sized diapers.

It’s been about 10 months since he passed away. I’m still wearing his underwear, when they’re clean and available in my underwear drawer. I know it sounds really weird, but I feel, somehow, closer to dad when I wear his underwear. Not closer in a spiritual sense, since I don’t believe in spirits. But I often find that I do not spend much time thinking about my dad. Something needs to remind me of him first.

And how can I not be reminded of dad when I’m wearing his tighty-whities?


Friday, January 06, 2006

I always wanted to do comics 

Marc found a few online comic strips. So he decided he had to make his own strip.
Without my permission, he borrowed the new digital camera (it's no wonder I haven't killed this one, yet) and took stills of his Star Wars Lego characters. He renamed them and tacked on silly 11 year-old-style humor. I hope to be able to post The Adventures of Captain Poo Head once I figure out how to do so in a quality manner. I'm sure I can get good quality using Photoshop... once I figure out how.

And... umm... I'll also post the ones I made. Complete with my own silly 11 year-old-style humor.

Shalom and Happy 6th of January.


Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Another day, a new year... 

It's so weird. We go from Saturday to Sunday and suddenly it's 2006!

We had some friends over for dinner on New Years Eve, but they're early birds. Marc and I were the only ones to stay up late. Hell. If you're not out partying, what's the big deal? So what if a new year has started?

Of course, when I was a kid, I never thought I'd live past 20 or so. Not that I was one of those drug-crazed bad kids or anything. It's just that kids' brains work that way. As a kid, you can't imagine anything happening much past tomorrow. And even if you know that you'll some day be 20 years old... man... that's practically ancient!

Around 1965 (before my family moved down to Florida from New York) Disney announced that they were building Disney World (after having surreptitiously purchased a very large portion of the state near Orlando). Actually, the news was leaked before they'd managed to buy up every bit of the land. But they'd gotten most of it. Real Cheap.

I was so disappointed. I figured that I'd be way too old (by 1971) to enjoy a place like that. Heck. I'd already be twelve or thirteen!

Disney World opened to rave reviews early in 1971. We waited until October to go up there. Dumb idea. We actually arrived on the "Official Grand Opening". Boy was it crowded. And the lines we ever-lasting. This was back in the days when you got Lettered Tickets
(A-E). The A tickets were for the dorky things like a stupid movie theater that showed nothing but old old Disney cartoons. E tickets got you on the cool rides, like 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

To this day, I can't remember if I ever actually got to ride that one. It was breaking down constantly. And on that first visit, Space Mountain didn't yet exist.

Now, DisneyLand is 50 and DisneyWorld is 35. I still love the place, even if it was sneakily conceived and I'm not crazy about the Disney company as a whole.

Thank goodness they did away with those stupid tickets.

On our most recent trip, a couple of weeks ago, we visited The Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom. and Epcot. We still love Epcot the best.
It would have been really cool if that area truly was an "Experimental Prototype Community (city) Of Tomorrow," with nifty houses with futuristic technologies. I always wanted to live in a "home of the future" with picture phones and toilets that created manure for the yard.

Ah. So much for our childhood dreams ideas of what things would be like in the future. Where's my friggin' flying car? Why don't I have a picture-phone, yet? When do I get to re-use my crap?

I'd set a deadline for all of this... based on forward-thinking TV shows and near-future science fiction: The Year 2000!

I was so sure I wouldn't live that long. Live till I'm 41? What are you... crazy?


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