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Saturday, August 28, 2004

Who, me? 

I was in the book store, the other day. I had no intention of buying a book because my wife would kill me for spending money, right now. Sometimes it seems we're middle class one month and downright poor the next. We certainly weren't poor when she wanted to buy that $400.00 vacuum cleaner.
In any case, I was in the book store to do some window shopping. I need to give my wife a list of a few books to pick from for one of my Christmas presents. I could have done my window shopping virtually, but it's not the same as being able to hold the book in your hands and flip through it.
I was looking through the bargain books and noticed the clerk behind the register. I'm not sure why I noticed him and why I continued to look at him. He had dark hair, a slight build, was clean shaven, and looked like he couldn't be more than 22.
He was cute.
I said that to myself, "Gee, he's kinda cute."
Then I reminded myself that I was a heterosexual married man with two children. A regular Ted Bundy. Er...make that Al.
It started to freak me out. I mean, I'm always uncomfortable at the thought that sexual orientation can't be divided by some brick wall where you can only be on one side or the other.
"It's not like I'm picturing the guy naked," I said to myself, and at that very moment; I pictured him naked. I won't bother you with the description. But he... well... he was cute.
Okay, okay, it was only a fantasy. Maybe he was really hairy on every single part of his body that was currently clothed. That would not turn me on.
So I started to imagine that he was really hairy on every single part of his body that was currently clothed.
Then I noticed that he'd noticed me.
He was smiling at me.
It's not like I was so close to the counter that he would ask me if I needed any help. Too far away for that, but close enough for a smile. And a wink? Was that a wink?
I "nonchalantly" lifted my left hand and "unconsciously" scratched my forehead. Could he see I was wearing a wedding ring?
Would it have mattered?
I looked back at the book I was flipping through. Some kind of dessert cookbook. Gay, but not too gay.
Thank God the Gay and Lesbian section's upstairs. What if he'd seen me there?
All of a sudden I decided that my time was up. I closed the book and headed for the front door; not too slowly and certainly not too quickly.
I hazarded a glance at the boy.
Oh. My. God.
He waved at me.

Oh. My. God.
I waved back.

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